catching up part 5: christmas and the rest of ‘vacation’

alternately titled: my family is completely out of control

my grandparents didn’t have a legit tree… just this little one.  it was with his new sweater on christmas morning.
my nana with her new scarf from italy, and the ever present reindeer antlers…
so, it was early.  don’t judge, haha.
as a joke, my father bought my mother light bulbs for christmas… ooookay, then.
my mom and my aunt kate. (she’s actually my aunt, haha.)
dad and mom after christmas dinner.
my uncle bill. (also a legitimate uncle, haha.)
so nana has the antlers, and papa has the hat.  what can i say… they like to be ‘festive.’
okay, so at every family gathering, my sister makes up some game, and we all split into teams and play.  lets just say, my family is very competitive, and everyone goes insane.  to quote my cousin renee, “a moment i will always remember was the ’80 game’ we played last december with the whole family! (when my papa turned 80, the entire family got together for the weekend and we threw him a surprise party. we played an intense game after the party.) at one point i stopped and looked around and EVERYONE was yelling something! it was fabulous!”  honestly… i can’t even begin to explain the chaos that is my family, but hopefully you kind of get the idea.  anyway, there were only a few family memebers around this year for christmas, but we played a game anyway… it is tradition, after all.  this was one team, the antlers, consisting of my nana, my dad, my mom, and my aunt kate.  the other team was the blitzens, and consisted of me, my uncle bill, my aunt janet, my uncle vic, and my papa.  my sister officiated.
aunt janet and uncle bill.  the blitzens were getting crushed pretty much the whole game.
the score sheet at the end of the regular play round.  3800 to 2550.  we then had a jeopardy-esque ‘final question’ where we wagered points.

the final question was a charlie brown christmas trivia question.  and if you know me, you know that every christmas eve, i watch the charlie brown christmas special.  so i was feeling pretty confident that i could get this right.  so the blitzens ‘bet the farm.’  both teams got the question correct.  (the fear of everything… yeah, that’s easy… pantophobia!)

welllll, the antlers tried to be all cool and make their bet so that they would win by 1 point.  but, they did their math wrong, and ended up losing by 99 points!  so the blitzen’s won, and there was great rejoicing/demands for a recount, depending on which team you were on.
christine with the score sheet.
uncle vic doing a victory dance.
no longer losers!
i got to wear the hat since i was the one who got the final answer that cause our win, haha.
going over the math, haha.
taunting the other team.
uncle vic, a, v, and aunt kate.
opening more gifts.
a got candy cane antler things, haha.
papa.  wondering how he wound up with a family as chaotic as this, haha.
a and w doing some sort of crazy racing in nana and papa’s kitchen.

well, in case that wasn’t enough to convince your that my family is completely out of control, here are a few quotes from the trip:

“well he could have at least waited until after christmas!” – nana
“i don’t really think you can pick when you’re going to die…” – mom
“i think you can!” – nana (she was being completely serious too…hahaha)

“i can’t wait until you have children mary grace. i hope they are just like you.” – dad

“what is ‘gangster’?” – nana
“it’s like gangster rap…you know, sort of shady…” – mom
“i don’t know all these words!!!” – nana

“did you know i have a cousin named… (uncontrollable giggling)… named (more giggling)… named rippy! rippy bean!!! hahahahahaha.” – mom

“mary grace i tried so hard to have you be born on the 4th of july. i was outside hoeing in the garden at 9 months pregnant trying to induce labor. it didn’t work. i should have taken that as a sign from god that you were going to be a stubborn one.” – mom

“we eat so much chicken and fish that i continually check myself for gills!!” -nana

“i was thinking about sports the other day, and it hit me… wresting… it’s just like being a thug, except, it’s legal, and you get paid.” – my 12 year old cousin, v

“horseradish does not go bad!” -nana
yes it does!” – mom
“we have this conversation every year… they would not put a date on it if i didn’t go bad.” – aunt kate
yes they would! they just want to sell more.” – nana
“this isn’t even the right color… september 11, 2008… mom! that’s disgusting.” – aunt kate

“yeah, he was runner up on, uh… what’s that show? dancing with the chefs?” – uncle bill
“no bill, top chef…” – aunt janet

“is this a quiet game?” – papa
“hell no! have you met our family??” – aunt kate

“i cannot understand for the life of me why a god that loves me would make winter. or morning.” – nana


yeah… that about sums it up.  no one in this family is normal, hahaha.

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